P-Sherm's

03:37 pm: Hi LJ,

Life is great. I have a place in the Inner Sunset District of SF with cheap rent and two good friends, a job offer to do cancer research with the director of OBGYN Oncology at UCSF only 2 blocks away from my place, an interview with the Gladstone Institute (although I'll probably just take the cancer research job) and i'm going to see armin van buuren on Saturday. Holy crap, i'm graduating college...living the dream!

Just as a fun exercise, i'll write down what i THINK i'll be doing, and after 6 months or so I'll read it and see how close/far I am in my perception of this job

Perform laboratory bench research on ovarian cancer stem cells, the ones that don't die from chemotherapy. Look at the what genes are upregulated or downregulated, look for ways to best isolate these types of cells, then look at way to kill them.

Perform database analysis of all of the women in the greater bay area who have OBGYN-related cancer, looking for possible trends that may lead to development of cancer, or better treatment

Assist with clinical research, involvement unknown

Collaborate with Stanford University in a study, specifics currently unknown

I'll be traveling between the Parnassus UCSF campus, Mt. Zion Clinical Cancer Center (where I think my PERSONAL office will be), and maybe to the doctor's private practice office too...and Stanford?

HOLY CRAP he wants to publish 10 papers by the end of May...

I have a feeling that this will be one of the most intense and rewarding experiences of my young life. I am SO looking forward to this. Not to mention I'll be living like 2 blocks from golden gate park, and 2 blocks away from work, and 2 blocks from THIS

http://www.sfgate.com/traveler/guide/sf/neighborhoods/innersunset.shtml

LOOK AT ALL THE FOOOOOD yum

oh man, i have to go before i pop with happiness =)

05:06 pm: It has been 21 weeks since I have last posted.

That's how far I got last time. It's been 24 weeks as of now =)

I can't sleep at all. I watched 28 weeks later and Superbad tonight. Both quite hilarious in their very own ways (not quite like how night is different from the day, but pretty close)

so, if the opposite of pro is con, what's the opposite of progress?

oh man, i'm so political and witty, wow. what a terrible joke.

i sleep too much now, at least, at the wrong times.

i'm close to beating re4! whee!

OKAY, it's been 31 weeks, i'm really going to update this time, because i have stuff i don't want to forget.

So, I got to shadow at Oakland Children's Hospital today in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) It was awwwwesome. Decided that I will cry and curl into a ball if i can't become a doctor, because it kicks ass.

Today, I:

went on rounds
heard "okay, what's the differential diagnosis"
learned that the differential diagnosis for a small looking heart in an xray for babies is most likely either high pressure from the lungs that doesn't allow the heart to fully expand, or some form of anemia, and there isn't enough blood to make it expand!
looked at xrays and watched people determine information from them
looked at and kinda learned how to read an ultrasound of a brain
saw a baby that was born weighing only 1.25 pounds....and was still barely the size of the doctor's hand.
saw a baby that was born prematurely and had problems because her mom did cocaine 2 days before she gave birth...nice huh
saw an intern remove stitches from a baby's head
ate in a hospital cafeteria (very cheap!)
watched a lion fish swim in a tank, haha
asked why women in labor are always given ice chips, not water, and found out why!
it's because they vomit a lot...ice chips moisten their mouth with minimal liquid (that would be yucky when vomited)
saw babies with CHARGE syndrome =(
sat in on a conference of social worker, nurse, doctor, translator (family only spoke spanish), and family as the doctor had to tell the family that their baby was going to die...kinda sucked.
learned about blue light therapy, and saw it in action
ate an apple
talked with a 1st year intern, a 2nd year resident, and a bunch of nurses and doctors
was SUPPOSED to see a ballard assessment, but stuff happens

and i'm going back tomorrow too! awesome.
this was so i don't forget...

10:01 pm: Finals
Two tomorrow, one monday, then freedom. I'm also doing this LJ post from aim, i wonder if it will work...

01:23 am: All I can say is that my life is pretty plain

I like watchin' the puddles gather rain

And all I can do is just pour some tea for two

and speak my point of view

But it's not sane, It's not sane

I just want some one to say to me

I'll always be there when you wake

Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today

So stay with me and I'll have it made

And I don't understand why I sleep all day

And I start to complain that there's no rain

And all I can do is read a book to stay awake

And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape

escape......escape......escape......

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain

ya don't like my point of view

ya think I'm insane

Its not sane......it's not sane

-

The Rain - Blind Melon

What a good song!

05:07 pm: The Protector

You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.
Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.
You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.
You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.

You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

I must disagree...patience is a virtue of which I am certainly not in posession of...

06:07 pm: bleh.

11:46 pm: So, another year and come and gone...

May the year of the Boar be absolutely wonderful =)

Plans for this year...in order!

April
MCAT ...take one!
Muse concert (undecided)
Luau returns to the Lodge
May
Introduction to Financial Accounting
June
Begin volunteering at Highland General Hospital in Oakland
Avoid getting shot
July
Turn 21
A trip to New York (Cornell) for Chi Psi National Convention
August
Bring car to Berkeley (hopefully)
A trip to Miami to celebrate my free plane ticket
A trip to Las Vegas to celebrate being 21


-sigh- and I need to start making my resume...need to get a job for after graduation
probably at Chiron in Emeryville? Or maybe one of the pharmaceutical companies in Fremont...
A one year break in between college and med school will be nice. I'll be able to go back to martial arts for a year before I move really far away for good...

11:54 pm: Your flirt finds me out
Teases the crack in me
Smittens me with hope

Possibly maybe possibly maybe
possibly maybe

As much as I definitely enjoy solitude
I wouldn't mind perhaps
Spending little time with you
Sometimes
Sometimes


->saw rocky balboa, it was everything i wanted to be, nothing more, nothing less...whoo hoo!
->i have pan's labyrinth and the pursuit of happiness and borat...i need to watch those asap
->if only i didn't have to take a full length practice MCAT tomorrow morning at 8am...yuck, oh well.
->lovers' squabbles are always interesting...

10:15 pm: ah man, what do i keep doing to myself

chem130b biophysical chemistry
mcb114 intro to comparative virology
chem135 chemical biology
mcb137 computer simulation in biology
mcb199 20 hours per week of independent research

MCAT April 7, 2007 ...8am, San Jose WHOO excited

I am excited for this next semester. Should be really really really busy...but fun i hope.

skoo.

11:40 am: i don't care what anyone thinks
i am completely sold now.

it's getting good reviews...2 thumbs up? inspiring?

i wanted to see it before.

now i NEED to see it

roocccckkkkkkyyyyy ballboooooooaaaa!!!!

02:17 pm: i know this was once spoken of...ha, it actually kinda happened

Sometimes a man has to choose
And do something he doesn't wanna do
Do I live my life with you as my wife
Or do I go on and pursue my lifetime dream
I gotta do this for me
Cuz if I don't I'll probably regret it
But if I do I'll probably regret it
How do I cope

[Chorus:]
How do you cope when
The one you love is with somebody else
And there's nothing you could do about it
How do I deal with
The fact that you had a chance
But you chose to turn away for your career
I gotta take it though it's heartbreakin'
It's something that I had to do
But nobody said that it would hurt so bad
So how do I live...how do I deal without you

It's killing me to know
That your heart's with me
But you're with him cause I chose
To be in this industry
Money, shows, and hoes come along with luxury and pain
Is all you see when you think about it
But this is the life that I was given
So I have to live it to the fullest
But how do I deal in the meantime without you

[Chorus]

How do you deal when you can't be with
the one you love but the one you love is
with somebody else
What do you do when you know she don't love him
but she love me but she cant stand lovin' you faraway
you just deal with it,deal with it
(I dont wanna have to live with it)
you just deal with it,deal with it
(no,no,no)
you just deal with it,deal with it
(I dont want nobody else alovin' you)
you just deal with it,deal with it
(I dont nobody else alovin' me)

[Chorus]

How do you cope when
The one you love is with somebody else
And there's nothing you could do about it.......

=(

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

03:47 am: Hell of a semester
Finally home in Fremont for a few days. I need to go back the 2nd to Berkeley to continue to my MCAT class

This semester ...yuck in academics, yuck in relationship, yuck in life i guess...and SO many people just lying their asses off to me left and right.

So Kelly and I are broken up for good, she's moved on, and I guess that's that.

Dealt with a huge theft in my fraternity, very very very large sum of cash stolen from my room, that was a nice first issue to deal with as president...but it ended up okay, i did some detective work and found out what happened and it's solved!

done with biophysical chemistry and genetics..next semester holds...

more biophysical chemistry, computer analysis of biological data, comparative virology, more lab work making the transgenic mouse TAP-FADD, finishing up my MCAT course, taking the MCATS, and APPLYING TO MEDICAL SCHOOL!!! wow...life changing stuff eh?

should i take a year off to get some hospital experience? maybe...with everything...i just want outa here. i love my home and my family and my fraternity...but there are some things that i just want to leave behind. Honestly I don't have a single friend in Fremont anymore. Ryan moved away, Kelly moved but that doesn't really count anymore...I mean, other than my Mom, I have no reason to be here...but then again that is why i'm here.

When everything seems like it's going to shit, it's family who will always be there for you. I've never really been into family much, esp since mine isn't all that large or connected...but when your best friends go home to their friends for a month, and you go home for a week and realize that there's nothing there for you... well, i don't even want to think about it much more.

My sister gets in Sat. night...that should be good seeing her. I never told her what I wanted to for christmas...because...i can't think of a single thing. I just want everything to go away, and let me have some peace and quiet.

It's late. Goodnight.

11:19 pm: i guess these things aren't that off..

Brainy Kid

In high school, you were acing AP classes or hanging out in the computer lab. You may have been a bit of a geek back then, but now you're a total success!

07:43 pm: i touched the outside of a pipette today after using it in a container...

my glove stuck to the pipette and started melting...

so...

i took the glove off.

(and that's why we wear gloves)

10:18 pm: HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MS. KELLY O'NEIL!!! whoo, i'm datin' a 20 year old =P

10:31 pm: The result of being stuck on a math problem
All real results =P

You Are Oscar the Grouch

Grumpy and grouchy, you aren't just pessimistic. You revel in your pessimism. You are usually feeling: Unhappy. Unless it's rainy outside, and even then you know the foul weather won't last. You are famous for: Being mean yet loveable. And you hate the loveable part. How you life your life: As a slob. But it's not repelling as many people as you'd like!

You Should Get a MD (Doctor of Medicine)

You're both compassionate and brilliant - a rare combination. You were born to be a doctor.

05:53 pm: Yay! Done with my 2nd year of college. Worst schedule EVER...8am to either 5pm or 8pm M-F...3 lab courses, then goodness I never have to do that again (I hope) Yay for summer break! Applied for a research position, if I get it, I get to work with transgenic mice =P Won't find out for a while though. End of June, starting summer school at Berkeley, Math1b (2nd semester calculus) and Theatre 10 (intro to acting) That leaves me about one month to get as much R&R as possible. Thank goodness I have all the grey's anatomy's that's ever aired, all of the 24 that's ever aired, and a ton of movies to assist me in my winddown. Good luck to everyone who isn't done yet, and wheee hee hee to everyone that is, especially me =P

05:30 pm: Spring Break! WHOO! Crazy!!! eh, not really. Okay, back to studying. =(

12:39 am: This one's for Kelly

monday 8-9 bio lecture, 10-11 mcb50 lecture, 12-1 bio discussion, 3-5 bio slc 5-6 bio lab lecture
tuesday 8-10 physics discussion, 11-12:30 physics lecture, 2-5 bio lab, 6-8 physics slc
wednesday 8-9 bio lecture, 10-11 mcb50 lecture 12-1 mcb discussion 3-5 bio slc
thursday 8-10 physics lab, 11-12:30 physics lecture, 1-5 chem3bL lab, 5-6 chem3bL lecture 6-8 physics slc
friday 8-9 bio lecture, 10-11 mcb50 lecture


...okay, so after typing out my schedule for Kelly...i noticed why i feel like i'm not getting anything done. it's because i'm not =( i spend all my time in stupid class. AHHHHHH!!!!!

12:36 am: ever get that feeling where you don't feel like you're doing anything, but you know you MUST be because you're constantly doing things? I'm getting that feeling...I do all this work but i feel like i haven't studied jack crap or learned anything...grrRarrr...it's probably the sleep deprivation. zZz time to catch a few precious hours.